Monday, April 13, 2009

Social studies exhibition mooted

Angry at being treated in a step-motherly fashion by students and parents, social studies teachers across the royal state of Karnataka have mooted an exhibition to promote awareness of the subject's importance and to compete on an equal footing with more important other subjects like mathematics, science and the languages. The idea cropped up in a Kekule-esque manner when noted history-and-geography teacher M Nagappa dozed away while explaining the climate of Tanzania to his class of 120 students. Continuing to talk in his sleep, Nagappa devised the entire scheme and had even calculated the revenues such an exhibition might generate, by the time he awoke.

"We will actually the charge the 5 rupees for the entry. We will not give receipts. We will call it the Humanities Club and force students to enter. Then, we will decamp with this money to sunny Acapulco. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" he said, revealing a scam highly unlikely to succeed. The Humanities Club will conduct the exhibition in Bangalore's famous Palace Grounds, where stalls of the various branches of the social sciences will be put up. The History stalls will depict important events in history, with children providing re-enactments wherever necessary. Key events include the Gandhi assassination, the 1965 Indo-Pak war and the Bhopal gas tragedy which, Nagappa said, the kids will re-enact authentically. The Geography stalls will place polystyrene and plastic models of the world's physical features and hope somebody walks by and passes so much as a glance at them. Innocent and hungry-looking kids will be placed in these stalls and will dispatch imploring looks at passing crowds, guilt-tripping grown-ups to fake interest in the dumb models and listen to the pre-written speech (filled with bad grammar) that the kids read out, in lieu of an explanation about their models. The Civics stalls seem the most challenging part, with no great ideas readily forthcoming. So far, Nagappa said, the only thing they have thought of is placing large copies of our Constitution in these stalls and keeping them clean by regular sweeping. But this has not met with student approval.

"Who the fuck wants to study civics??" bellowed noted school rowdy, Rudresha. "Who the fuck?? Bring him in front of me, I will cut his head with my bare hands. This is not a hand," he added, relapsing into Varun-esque rhetoric. "This is a lotus."

"This is a hibiscus" he continued, swiftly destroying whatever Hindutva votebank support he had built up but quietly ensnaring the naturalists. Meanwhile, Vijaya High School alumni everywhere discreetly jizzed in their pants at the gratuitous references made to their alma mater and brought this post to an abrupt halt.


Anonymous said...

did rudresha point to his footwear and say "this is not a shoe, it's a shoeflower"?

Cheeku said...

Wait... wasn't Rudresha booked under NSA???

Harish said...

sakkat aagide.
Your tribute to M Nagappa and the humanities club we so dilligently joined by paying 5 Rupees eno idu?
Aadro yaak some of us joined that club annodu innoo inexplicable-u.
But maybe it will add to my Prime Ministerial resume.

Su said...

I almost missed this one!

You sneaky little thing, you!

Sandeep said...

I liked this one. Fond memories it brought back.

Arjun Sharma said...

[wanderlust] What's a shoeflower?

I'm sorry, your jokes are sometimes very complex.

[CHEEKU] No, he promised to give the school principal a 'pappi' and 'jadoo ki jhappi' and was let off under a mild harassment case.

[Harish] Houdu, idu nanna ondu saNNa tribute-u. What a fine man he was. And continues to be, I presume.

Identha prime-ministerial qualification-u? "Got conned by a scam as early as high school."

[being purple] Me? Sneaky? Why, I never...!

[Sandeep] Olle memories-u.

Anonymous said...

[arjun] yenu complex illa... shoe+flower = shoeflower, ashte.
apparently it's a flower, like sunflower.