Monday, September 15, 2008

Anantamurthy renews vow not to shut up

Noted litterateur and Jnanapeeth award winner U R Anantamurthy yesterday renewed his vow not to shut up about issues he knows nothing about and should not be interfering in or talking about. At a conference held at Hubli's Karnatak University campus, Dr. Anantamurthy pledged to keep his outspokenness intact and never give in to communal forces, divisive sectarianism and fascist hooliganism. The statement comes close on the heels of widespread criticism following his remarks on the Orissa communal clashes and the slaying of VHP saint Lakshmanananda Saraswati and the 'forced conversion' accusations flung at Christian missionaries. In a touching ceremony, Anantamurthy and longtime friend(and possibly part-time lover), Rajdeep Sardesai, renewed their vows of non-silence, non-objectivity and non-partisanship regarding contentious issues. Rings were bartered, garlands were put around necks and nappies were flung at dissidents.

In retaliation, long-standing Anantamurthy-baiter and journalist Pratap Simha unleashed his fury over the statements, in a rival press conference in the neighbouring city of Dharwad. Addressing a large gathering of peda-makers, Mr. Simha emphatically declaimed the "treacherous" remarks made by the author and said this was indicative of a "serious delusion of self-importance" on the part of the famous writer. "Mr. Anantamurthy...has already damaged the reputation of Kannada writers by relentlessly expressing himself even when not particularly necessary or advisable," Simha thundered furiously, mildly dampening the entire first row of the seated audience. "Should he really be allowed to speak any further about anything? Especially a sensitive issue like this. He has always been one of these pseudo-intellectuals who wear FabIndia jubbas and grow beards. If he were a true Kannadiga, he would wear a jubba made from Khadi Bhandar, Lansdown building, Mysore. But he doesn't. I think he should be declared a world heritage site and fenced." More popular author and fellow Murthy-baiter S L Bhyrappa was unavailable for comment, but is said to have smiled mysteriously and contentedly in his sleep.

The Orissa clashes have already drawn reactions from completely unrelated personalities from all over the country, with former Speaker of the Lok Sabha Purno Asafoetida Sangma, former chief minister of Arunachal Pradesh Gegong Apang, former minister for water resources Sis Ram Ola, former wildly defecting politician V C Shukla, former spoon manufacturer and closet frock-wearer V P Singh and former farmer Amitabh Bachchan all expressing their regrets over the turn of events in the already ravaged state. Noted left-wing blogger Harish N Kumar was dismissive of Anantamurthy's statements, but expressed grave regrets over the events in the cyclonic state and nearby Karnataka, where churches were attacked by right-wing Hindu fundamentalists. "I condemn Anantamurthy. I also condemn these fascists. I most recently condemn my maid, who just poured hot coffee all over my feet. In fact, I condemn anybody who comes within five feet of me." He was subdued later by a free copy of E M S Namboodiripad's autobiography. Ardent right-winger and numerologist Malaveeka(earlier 'Malavieka') Chakravarthy raged against the Orissa government's decision to disallow Togadia's rally, but later withdrew her statement when it was revealed that he was not an Iyengar.

13 comments:

Harish said...

I condemn you for associating me with left wing. This is blasphemy. This is an unpardonable crime. Yeh akshamya aparaadh hai.

Malaveeka said...

I don't judge people for not being Iyengar.

I resent this imputation.

*You* are a rascist (person) and are rumoured to have an ilegit daughter with a distant aunt.

Malaveeka said...

an Iyengar*

Illegit*

You broke me, Arjun Gay Pride Sharma.

Malaveeka said...

'longtime friend(and possibly part-time lover)' Hehe. Borrowed from song and all, eh?

Also, you misspelled Amitabh Bachchan. Ha! Fallible!

Arjun Sharma said...

[harish] I disregard your condemnation with disdain and impunity usually reserved only for the smallest of microbes.

You are using language coloured with a communal hue. I condemn that.

[malaveeka] Imputation? He he, show-off.

Don't make fun of my illegitimate daughter. Poor illegitimate daughter.

I didn't break you. You broke and reassembled me.

[malaveeka] Yeah, borrowing from Stevie Wonder. How ridiculously old-fashioned can I get?

Indeed, I've become fallible now. You reconfigured me, remember?

Re-assembler.

ravi said...

LOL

But Mysore's Khadi Bhandar is not in Lansdowne building, it is Tirupur Khadi Bhandar which is there, famous for life sized potrait of Sonia Gandhi(which replaced Indira Gandhi's potrait) and not so natural Khadi baTTe.

Parisarapremi said...

ninn blog OdhOdu ondu maja, matte comments OdhOdu innondu maja...

alla, ura ge buddhi barO kaala hechge doora illa ansutte ree.. hechge bareebedi, aamele "i dont want to talk to you.." antha nim jothe "Tu" bitbidtaare..

Harish said...

"What's your problem? Do you think you can be seen as witty by mocking as eminent a literary figure as URA? This is a pathetic post. Come back home(although you have come back), we will teach you a lesson" - These are a compilation of comments, on ancient celebrity interview, modified to suit this post.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

hahaha U.R. Ananthamurthy! I always felt that if he married I.M.Vijayan, they could together be called V.R.Gay!

Akshaya Kamalnath said...

Nice cheeky post;)

ravi said...

Oh! There is a real Khadi Bhandar in Lansdowne building!

Sorry for my nitpick. It had totally escaped me till now.

Arjun Sharma said...

[ravi] Tirupur Khadi Bhandar naan keLe ilvalla...must be one of those newfangled khadi bhandars. Naavella iddaga elli, naave khadi maadkota iddvi, charka-nalli.

[parisarapremi] He he, avru nan jote "Tu" bittre naanu dukha taDkolakkagde kudiyodakke shuru maadbidtini, Arun! Haag matra maadbeda anta avrge heli.

[Harish] Neenu olle medley of comments haakidiya kanayya illi. The DJ Aqeel of blogs aagbodu neenu.

[Anand Ramachandran] Heh, my father had a friend named V R Sridhar. You can imagine the hilarity which ensued whenever the man introduced himself, arriving alone.

"Hello. V R Sridhar."
"V-ya? Orutthane nikkare.."
(Much laughter.)

[Akshaya Kamalnath] Thank you! Er, cheeky?

[Ravi] Ade ankotidde, ello nodida nenapidiyalla anta. Nodi, neevu confirm bere maadidira. What a great man you are!

AnSVad said...

Amazing post! :D Haven't laughed that hard in quite sometime... Pity I am in a library though... :D