Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Baby escapes from crib, police concoct cock-and-bull story

In a bizarre story, a baby was found missing from a hospital in Bangalore today, only to be found in the back of a truck a few miles away an hour later. Police, however, have refused to accept that hospital security was lax and have come up with an insane cock-and-bull story. The baby, police said, climbed over the walls of the crib, overpowered three male nurses, fought through a posse of armed guards and policemen using only a bib and finally vaulted over the hospital walls using a eucalyptus tree growing in the compound.

Top neonatal surgeons and paediatricians have clashed with the police over this story, saying it was highly unlikely a baby only a few hours old could have developed the necessary limb functions to even walk, let alone vault walls and expertly manoeuvre its way through a tightly guarded hospital. The presence of so many armed guards and policemen was not explained by the police or the hospital authorities, leading to a constitutional crisis when the minister for health complained of oppression by the government in his operations. Exactly why anyone would want to oppress the minister of health, especially since he was from the same party as the government, was not made clear by the honourable minister.

The baby was found later by an alert squirrel, who then wound through havoc and traffic to warn the hospital staff. The baby was then safely delivered to its rich businesspeople parents, who were disappointed because it was a girl.

12 comments:

Harish said...

Neenu ee thara fake news koDodu namma samaajada eLgege, unnatige, pragatige, sarvatomukha abhivruddhige, raitarige ondu doDDa tondre. Idanna nambkonDu eshtu jana mosa hogbahudu. Eshtu janarige ee kathe odi ondu heNNu maguvina mele aa maguvina tande-taayi torisida asaDDe novanna untu maaDalla. Idella ninage artha aagalla.

freak said...

ha ha ha

nivedita said...

The last line is a clincher.

nivedita said...

the clincher*

Arjun said...

[harish] He he, sarvatomukha abhivruddhi keli eshtond dina aagittu. Thanks-u.

Aadre samajada bagge ondu kaLakaLi-na naanu bittilla kanayya. Ittidini.

[freak] ho ho ho

[nivedita] I take shots at people richer than me. It's cheap, but it's fun.

And how are you these days?

snippetsnscribbles said...

hehhhehe :-))) Loved the last line!!!! and Harish's line on "Sarvatomukha abhivrudhhi"...yappa!!!

Ee blog na yendendu muchhuvudilla antha nanna kaLakaLiya manavi ! Damn, I hate that word 'kaLakaLi' !!!!!

snippetsnscribbles said...

**muchhabeDi

a million different people said...

I told Thalaivaa not to donate his sperm. X(

Why people don't listen to me, I don't understand. I mean, I am almost always right.

PS: Of course, we are not revealing the name of the Sperm Bank. Thalaivaa does not endorse Sperm Banks, even unintentionally.

PPS: Yes, Chuck Norris always listened to me. Nice chap, that one.

CHEEKU said...

What do u have inside your head maga?
Super lo. Here is a suggestion.Bitti advice.
"Compile all your posts and make a book". I promise I ll be the first person to buy the book. 300rs kelage idu price na.. wokey na??

Sandeep said...

Asadde keli tumba dina agittu.

Asadde yavo malignant tumour thara ilva?

Arjun said...

[snippetsnscribbles] Heh, yeah, it sounds like a threatening disease for children. "Nam magu-ge kalakaLi aagbittide, ri, Kamalamma. En maadodu antle gottagtilla! Yaargadru kottbidla?"

Ayyo, blog yaakri muchchli? Bitti kodbekadre nangu irli, nammappangu irli anta Kailasam helida haage, bareetane irtini. Until someone kills me for it.

[a million different people] Thalaivaa's sperm is something I really don't want to think about. Though one of them produced a rather fetching girl child. Great animator too.

Chuck Norris hesrna Rajnikant jote substitute maadbittu kalstane iddru, nan makklu, aa mail-na. Tale ella ketthoytu. It was funny, yes. Aadru.

[cheeku] Inside my head? Tungsten, also called Wolfram.

Scott Adams tried that. I think it didn't work as well as his other books. I, being a lesser luminary, will face greater challenges. Any ideas on how to succeed?

[sandeep] Yavdo raw, especially hardened, potato thara ide.

Vijaya said...

hee hee hee ...
Arjun, nin blog odokke super aagirutte ... jotege comments odokke innoo sakkath ... asadde bagge odi ... heegoo yochsokke saadhya na antha nakku nakku saakaytu... i admire your sense of humour :-)