Thursday, May 29, 2008

Local teenager completes hundredth book of reading last page sneakily

Rajesh Sagar Reddy, a BTM Layout resident, has completed one hundred books of reading the last page sneakily before actually reading the rest of the book. The 17-year old Children of Bodom fan, "Razr" to friends, said he had achieved this feat with the seminal J R R Tolkien work, "The hobbit" and was now going to celebrate it in a big way with friends and family.

"I'm thrilled with this achievement!" said a rubicund Rajesh. "It all began with the fourth Harry Potter book, in 2002. I accidentally turned to the last page while trying to read the blurbs on the back cover. I read the last line and felt guilty, but thought nothing about it. Then it happened again, this time with Agatha Christie's 'And then there were none.' And then I discovered, this could actually be the beginning of something big. I started doing it for every book I read afterwards. It never spoiled my fun of reading the book. Plus, my girlfriend now respects me more, since I can predict what happens in a book without actually having read it and also because I'm impeccably dressed."

What started with just reading the last line soon grew into a more ambitious project for Rajesh. He started reading entire last chapters before beginning the books. He and his friends even started a book-reading club, with everyone reading the last lines or chapters aloud to everyone else. Their antics, however, have not impressed an older generation.

"They've started reading James Corbett, James Joyce and James Kutty PC!" complained BTM local Justice Venkatagiri. "And they take it to ridiculous lengths too. Just yesterday, one of them was trying to read the last page of a pamphlet." Justice, who, in his heydays, had pioneered a First-Pagers club(which met with considerably less success than Razr's group), is distressed by the reading habits of today's youngsters. "None of them reads the old way, from beginning to end. In this T20 era, they require everything to be delivered to them fast. Plus, there's all the drinking, making out, partying and wild, illegal pre-marital sex to be had. So, they really can't find time for books."

"I really miss the old days when we used to read even telephone directories and dictionaries from beginning to end" he added wistfully. He recalled, at this juncture, how he had postponed a major bypass surgery to complete a fourth reading of Wren and Martin's guide to English grammar, leading to a complete failure of his cardiovascular system as well as a low score in the Senior Citizens' Unnecessary yet Mandatory Baccalaurate Accreditation in Grammar(SCUMBAG).

Razr's father is reported to be buying him a Maybach car for his achievement and said he hoped youngsters everywhere would take heart from his son's achievement and follow their dreams.

5 comments:

a million different people said...

Hahaha. So true.

Razr is such a bastard, though. Whoever reads the last page of And Then There Were None is.

El said...

Duuno who you're talking of but this made me LOL, hysterically funny..reading wren and martin? lmao!

being purple... said...

SCUMBAG is agreed to.

Wren and Martin is the Bible on all things grammatically inclined in the language of the Queen.

You make me laugh Sharma.

I could *almost* kiss you for that.

Malaveeka said...

Lol.

Arjun Sharma said...

[a million different people] Yeah, it's such a brilliant book. Whoever could have guessed the judge had done it?

Heh, have I ruined it for someone?

[el] They forced us to refer to it, in middle school. I refused to. I read Chandamama.

[being purple] Wren and Martin were paedophiles with a good command over English grammar.

Almost, but not quite? Oh no!

[malaveeka] Funny? Thenks.

You know, I checked, it is pronounced 'lawl.'