Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Many things

Many stories have I to tell, little ones. Gather around.

Honnemaradu:-

As part of an unofficial exercise, a lot of us software people(you villagers won't understand this means) went to Honnemaradu, a famous place close to TaLaguppa in Shimoga. Why? because there's water there and life-jackets. And the two together can mean hours and hours of pain. And fun. The typical 'weekend off' for the IT types. A little drunk fun on the bus helped.

Here be pictures, bitches:-
HonnemaraduAndJog

Not too many, I'm afraid. No wait, that's actually a good thing. Too many photos is boring. Some of the captions are in-jokes. Don't worry, you're not any stupider than you already are.


Shootout at World's end:-

I watched two movies last week. The first one was a tense, taut, gripping action thriller called Shootout at Lokhandwala.
No, it was an abominable, stupid piece of putrid faeces deposited on the box office by an animal in its sleep. What the hell was that? The title is the plot. There's a shootout. And, GASP, it's AT Lokhandwala!! There are also shootouts in other places. It is based on a true story, yes, and you shouldn't glamourize reality too much, agreed. But look at Black Friday. That was based on a true story too and it was such an awesome film.

There are factual errors too. In the extremely cool song 'Ganpat,' they seem to mention Bipasha Basu, while the movie is supposed to be set in 1991. There are also Esteem LXs and other luxury cars zooming around the city. These cars were never around in 1991.

Another irritating thing is, towards the end of the movie, Dia/Diya Mirza, as a very pretty reporter, turns to the audience and asks, "In Anti Terrorist Squad(ATS) afsaron ne in terrorists ko maar diya. Ab faisla karna ye hai ki kya in ke tareeke sahi the ya galat. Ye faisla karna hai aap ko!"

Why the hell should I decide? I won't. You decide if you want to. Besides, it seems a braindead decision. What the ATS officers did was absolutely correct. In the movie, they are shown mowing down the terrorists. That seems a fair reward to those people for terrorizing Bombay for so long through theft, burglary, arson, assorted violence and murder. So getting shot out in dingy buildings is a good end to them.
Asking questions like this at the end of abominable films doesn't make them clever or intelligent. It only makes them more unintentionally funny.

Now for the pirates.

"At world's end" is a good movie. Great timepass. They should have given more things to do to Jack Sparrow and Barbossa. But Elizabeth Swan shows her fantastic leg in the end. So that's ok.
It's not as good as the first two and Sparrow's entry is not as brilliant or flamboyant as in those movies. But you can watch it without fear of getting bored. At times, the dialogues are a little hard to follow and, as a result, you miss the plot as it unravels.
But Elizabeth Swan shows her fantastic leg in the end. So that's ok.


Hasyotsava:-

I went to another ‘hasyotsava’ or comedy programme yesterday. I should have known better. The banner at the entrance should have warned me. It said “Hasya samaradhane.” As though humour had died thirteen days ago and they were performing the ceremony now.
It was supposed to be the birthday celebration of the owner of Ace Iyengar Home Products(AIHP – say this like it’s a word. Sounds like an asthmatic dog.). This fine organization began some years ago after a financial debacle in the houses of Mr Sheshadri and Mrs Manjula Sheshadri cost them Rs 18 lakhs. With that kind of money, I could have convinced Keira Knightley to go a step further in the movie, maybe. An ordinary family would have lost their minds and shot themselves, not before killing a few cattle on their way, at such a debacle. But not the Sheshadris! Calling themselves by a name which sounds like a Tamil World War I pilot, they began selling homely products to lazy people. Since these are numerous in Bangalore, they quickly became popular and their business franchise began to spread. They established branches in different parts of the city.
But that’s not the point. The point is, Mr Sheshadri turned 60 sometimes back and his family decided to celebrate that by organizing a show or a fest. It was a family function.
We didn’t know that, see?
We went thinking Master Hirannayya and his son, Babu Hirannayya, would speak and we would die laughing and it would be a happy death. Because they are the funniest men in Karnataka, if not in India. What we didn’t know was that the entire Sheshadri clan would be there to fete and honour their senior forbear. And do this by indulging in a family talent show. First, a miniature female Sheshadri appeared on stage and danced to the tunes of popular Bollywood numbers from ‘Don.’ Then, a twosome appeared on stage and perfoemed one scene from hit Kannada movie “Aaptamitra.” To what avail, I don’t know. After this, a lengthy drama involving Lord Brahma -- the Creator, leaker of the Vedas to horseheaded demons, possessor of four heads -- highlighting the bad effects of pollution on the environment. This extract from a drama written by the eminent Geeta Ramanujam enlightened the audiences that we are fast killing off our own environment. It used religious and socially relevant themes to educate the audience.
And this was supposed to be the funny part of the play!! And this was a laughter festival! What the hell???
Then, thankfully, Master and Babu Hirannayya came out and performed an extract from ‘Nadubeedi Narayana’ and it was great, as usual.

The problem with these festivals is, they are far too many now. The speakers have no time to read, prepare and present new material and end up rehashing old, stale stuff. Case in point, Mysore Anand. As Harish rightly pointed out, you can record this man’s act in one place and play the same thing in any other place and it won’t make a difference that he’s not actually performing live there. He forgets he’s not Hirannayya and he can’t make the same joke funny every time he says it.

Also, the audience. They laugh at the same jokes every time. They are getting increasingly stupid every time. This is why these ‘humourists’ and ‘comedians’ think they can get away with telling the same jokes every time.

For the slow:- Hasya samaradhane, like Vaikuntha samaradhane…no? Die, liberals.

13 comments:

Harish said...

Ella sari, neenu M N Vyas Rao avara haasyana mention maaDilla. This is an insult to the elderly gentleman poet humourist.

Malaveeka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Malaveeka said...

My comment isnsulting you is gone.

This is censorship, Arjun J.

Anyway I'll say it again.

This post was an 'abominable' rant.

But 'hilarious'. Worth the damn wait and the thousand false starts.

And don't call us, gentle readers i.e., stupid bitches.

And I agree with Harish.

Just.

P.S. Orland is a pretty boy. And Depp should have shown something. Anything.

Note for all: Arjun cried when he saw ES' leg.

Malaveeka said...

*AJS: Please note the 'insulting' in the prev. comment and temme if you remember anything.

Archana said...

The 'Hasyotsava' part was too good!

Pavan said...

Is this the same Geetha Ramanujam as from NCJ?

Arjun Sharma said...

[Harish]I apologize for the thoroughly unintentional omission. This has moved me deeply and I wish to dedicate Lalbagh to the elderly gentleman poet humourist.

[Malaveeka]What insulting comment? There is no censorship here. I don't moderate comments unless they're spam. You didn't submit properly, I think.

Her leg is so beautiful, it makes you weep with emotion.

Remember? Cup of tea?

[Archana]No it wasn't. It was abominable. You don't know, you weren't there.

Oh you meant...? OK, yeah, thanks.

[Pavan]Aes. The self-same.

Sandeep said...

Gendillman, you have delivered as promised.

performed*

Amele?

Sneha Divakar said...

i have not seen Hirannayyaa perform. i think narsimharaju was an extremely funny man in karnataka...

Arjun Sharma said...

[Sandeep]Aes.

Why did you say 'performed*' ?

[Sneha]You haven't seen him on stage? You've missed something, dude! Go to his next play, wherever it is. If I find out, I'll let you know.

Good God, to be in Karnataka, and in Bangalore, and not have seen a Hirannayya drama.

freak said...

i haven't seen one

nivedita said...

I liked pirates.

Just that it was a little convoluted.

Second time watching will be much better I think.

Parisarapremi said...

ಹೊನ್ನೇಮರಡು: ಹೋಗಿ ಬಹಳ ವರ್ಷಗಳಾಯ್ತು. ಕಾಡು ತುಂಬಾ ಕಮರ್ಷಿಯಲೈಸ್ ಆಗಿದೆ ಎಂದೆನಿಸಿದ ನಂತರದಿಂದ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಹೋಗುವ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಕಡಿಮೆಯಾಗಿದೆ. ಕಾಡು ಕಾಡಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಚೆನ್ನ ಎಂದು ನನ್ನ ನಿಲುವು.

ಶೂಟ್-ಔಟ್: ಕಮೆಂಟಿಸಲು ಮನಸಿಲ್ಲ

ಹಾಸ್ಯ ಸಮಾರಾಧನೆ: ಸೂತಕದಂತಿರುವ ಹಾಸ್ಯ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೋಗುವುದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಅತ್ಯುನ್ನತ ಹಾಸ್ಯ ಪುಸ್ತಕಗಳು ಕನ್ನಡದಲ್ಲಿರೋದನ್ನೋದಿದರೊಳಿತಲ್ಲವೇ?