Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Goa -- II

I wish you all a very happy new year. May 2007 be brilliant.

The second exciting episode of a four day trip to Goa undertaken by thirteen people not long ago

We went back to the hotel, Rakesh and I, with Sneha(yes, most porn stories begin this way). There, the boys were ready with the alcohol. A large bottle of Director's Special whisky, a smaller bottle of Director's Special whisky and Foster's beer. Later, they sent Naveen out to buy one more small bottle of Director's Special. Nothing had been opened yet and I wondered why, since everyone was so eager to drink.

Sandeep, Vishnu and Rakshith sat on the balcony, smoking fat cigars like head honchos of large corporations. There was a small balcony outside each room specifically designed for people to sit around and drink/smoke. These guys were huffing and heaving at those cigars like it satisfied some deep need inside them.
"You should try this, man! Just one drag, go ahead."
"No, no, you go ahead. Smoking is injurious to health. Statutory warning."
"Fuck you."

They smoked on. Meanwhile, KK had opened the Foster's bottle and started drinking it all by himself. Deeply moved by this act of sacrifice and willingness to put himself in the face of alcoholic danger before other men, lest they drink themselves to death, I took the bottle away from him and partook of some beer myself. The jerk was going to drink all the beer himself, had we not intervened! Meanwhile, Sneha was getting high on a Bacardi Breezer without any of us noticing it. She acts crazy as it is, but alcohol inside of her, even in limited quantities, can make her incredibly whiny. She started saying loudly, "I want to go to a party!! I want to go to a party!!"

When this behaviour of hers persisted for a long time, everyone got slightly miffed, to say the least. She also began to insist that she wanted to go that Saturday night bazaar. Loudly. "I want to go to the bazaar!! I want to go to the bazaar!!" This happened a bit too close to Arvind and he turned to her.
"I don't care if you're drunk or just acting like you're high, but if you yell in my ear once more, I'm going to slap you."
A few quiet moments persisted after that.

Where did Arvind come from? Wasn't he out getting cars for rent? Yes, he was and he did. One car. The other would arrive the next morning, said he. Meanwhile, there was one car(a Zen) and six people eager to go to the bazaar, including the one who had just been threatened with one
tight slap.
"There is a problem. Six of us can't go in one car," Arvind said.
"Why not? We'll just have to adjust a bit."
"No, it'll be too uncomfortable."
"Come on, just for a while. We'll get the other car tomorrow."
"No, just five of us can go."
"All right, who'll go?"
"Me, Nivedita, KD, Subba and Sneha."
"What? What about me?"

Harish joined in the fray.
"Hey yeah, I want to go too."
"No you don't, I'm going," said I, quickly.
"So am I. I also want to go," he responded with a quick rejoinder.
"Eh, no, neither of you can go!" said an exasperated Arvind.
"Why are you taking Sneha along? She's drunk and can barely walk. She's not," here, I borrowed a corporate phrase Sandeep had popularized to great effect during this trip, "adding any value to the proposition. Neither is KD."
"He's driving the car. He has his license with him."
"That doesn't matter. I drive better and faster. And I always wear my seatbelt."
"No! You don't have your license with you. You can't drive."
"Look, Sneha's asleep now. Let's go while the going's good."

He seemed to relent a little at this.
"OK, let's go quietly."
Harish was quick to jump in.
"Hey I'm coming too."
"No you're not. Neither of you is! We'll go."

Just then, Sneha woke up.
"Hey, let's go to the bazaar!"
"Oh hell."
She woke up and somehow became the fifth member of the bazaaring party. Despite me insisting since even before the trip began that I wanted to go and it would be awesome and people would die if I didn't go there. And I wasn't even as drunk as "Hey, let's go to the bazaar!" either. I thought this was a strong point and put it across. Only to have it ignominiously rejected by Arvind and Nivedita.
"No, dude, we're going."
"But why does--"
"No, there are five people already."
"But who did--"
"No, see you. Bye."
"But I--"
"Bye!"
And they left. And I was left standing there, with Mr Harish N Kumar at my side and a much amused Naveen Menezes trying to stifle his laughter at grown people behaving this way.

Yeah, they threw me out like yesterday's trash and took along with them today's trash. And lo, they were one with the trash.

The intelligent reader may now raise the question, "Why did they pick Sneha over you, man?" (This question was the source of much amusement to Mr Menezes and me the next day. I think Naveen enjoyed making Nivedita squirm by asking this question. "Eh!" was her pithy comeback.) Said reader may also raise the question "How come they got to decide who went along and who didn't?" A third, equally valid question would be "Why the hell didn't you go and hire a bike yourselves, you and Harish, and go there, if you so wanted to?"

I don't know, man. I don't know, man. It was too late to go out and get bikes by then.

Meanwhile, the other guys were already drunk out of their minds. Rakshith had thrown up once in the bathroom and once on the balcony and was now fast asleep, his lights having been knocked out for the day. KK was acting crazy, lying down in the little passage or something outside the rooms(we had three neighbouring ones). And saying mushy things to KD before he left(yes, driving the bunch of people who left me behind despite my impassioned implorings). Vishnu was happy, ecstatically happy. And much amused at both Nivedita's quick shutting of the door when she saw him tipsy as she came out of the room, ready to leave, and at Rakshith conking out and KK lying flat in the corridor. At the latter, he expressed his sentiments.
"Dude, I drank easily about 200 ml more than each of them. And I'm not even puking yet. And those two idiots are all over the place."
And we beheld a maniacal laughter.

Sandeep, when drunk, becomes very silent and serious and prefers sitting glumly in corners of rooms. He wasn't out of his mind like these two were. And he insisted on this point.
"I'm all right! I'm not piss drunk. I won't puke."

It was now that we decided to follow Mr Rakesh BV Dhanya's wise decision to watch the English Premier League while leaving the drunken monkeys to sort out their vomiting issues by themselves. They were doing a good, loud job of this, frequenting the bathroom at startlingly regular intervals. A stench of stale chutney filled their room. Naveen, good man that he is, had earlier thrown water all over the balcony, to cleanse the puke there. Now, he, Harish and I stood outside the puking room, since Vishnu seemed in a mood for conversation.

"Dude, go inside, man, go sleep," advised Naveen.
"OK," Vishnu said and shut the door behind him. The three of us had decided to go into the third room(ours) when the door opened again.
"I feel like talking."
"Dude, no! Go back inside and get some sleep. You'll fall off the balcony if you stay out here, man."
Vishnu looked thoughtfully at Naveen for a moment.
"Dude, you're damn intelligent, man!"

At this, I could control myself no more. I was tipsy to the point that walking was not an instinctive task anymore but required effort, and inane things, indeed everything, seemed incredibly funny. I burst out laughing and that set Naveen and Harish off and they laughed too. And the world was a happy place once again. I also said something involving the irony of life to Vishnu and he said he'd be damned if he could figure that out.
Naveen:- "Idiot, he's already confused. You go and say irony of life and all to him, he'll go mad!"
I:- laughter.

Vishnu went back in, deciding he would try and puke by effort if the damned didn't come out by itself in a little while. The three of us went back into our room, where Rakesh and a sombre Sandeep sat watching the EPL.
"Cards?"
"OK."
Two or three rounds later, we stopped playing. It was horribly boring. On the television, Drogba was scoring and Rakesh and Naveen were very excited. We were five fully grown men cramped into a smallish room, watching football at midnight in Goa, land of fun, frolic and fenny.
"This trip might just turn out to be the worst trip we've ever undertaken."

15 comments:

Harish said...

Last line ollle suspensu. En aagutto eno?

Rakesh said...

i guess, it's time for "HAPPINESS"...

Sandeep said...

But it was.

nivedita said...

Aww, you guys watched EPL.

Arjun said...

[Harish]Kaadu nodbeku, ivre.

[Rakesh]Yes please. Olle happiness-u.

[Sandeep]It wasn't a total wreck. I mean, after this, we went to a happy place, like Rakesh says.

[Nivedita]Why you little...I'll wring your neck the next time we meet.

Shalabh said...

Next time I go out I'm taking you along...always helpful to have someone you can leave behind to take care of the luggage and if need be, tidy up the room <:o)

tangled said...

eeeeeeeeee
What funs.

And it's TANGLED for a reason.
sheesh.

Harish said...

"She acts crazy as it is, but alcohol inside of her, even in limited quantities, can make her incredibly whiny" - Olle, kotige henda kuDisida haage aytu.

Harish said...

Eagerly awaiting "Goa -- III".

sneha_april said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sneha_april said...

i dint get drunk on a breezer. i had lots of gulps of whiskey from each one's glass... u fool!!!

swaroop said...

I have read 'The third exciting episode of a four day trip to Goa undertaken by thirteen people not long ago'. But, I wanted to leave a comment here. I don't know why.

I'm excited! What happens next? Teh me, teh meee!

Arjun Sharma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arjun Sharma said...

[Shalabh]Ya ya. Fat-ass.

[Tharunya]OK, TANGLED. What did I say?

[Harish]He he, nija. Gaadeya olle prayoga.

[Sneha]When? No one was ready to give you any. Neene kaddu kudeetiddya? Adakke haagagiddu.

[Swaroop]Ollle...

tangled said...

Stop using my name yo.