Monday, October 30, 2006

Analogously challenged

I'm sure we've all been suitably informed and formed our opinions about that cleric al Hilali's(if you're particular about it, Sheik Taj el-Din al-Hilali's) speech at the end of Ramzan. He said the woman was chiefly responsible for rape because, and here he delves into the texts of wisdom of an ancient scholar(some fellow named "al Rafihi." Is it me or does that sound like an Italian dish made with paddy?), "if she had not left the meat uncovered, the cat wouldn't have snatched it" (for a transcript of the whole speech, Google the guy's full name:- Sheikh Taj el-Din ud-Daulah sa'ad-Tughlaq ed-Bailey bid-Gudbye quid-Proquo al-Hilali).

While the comparison of men with cats has suitably enraged Scott Adams(who has recovered, he said on his blog last week, from spasmodic dysphonia. Good for him. My aunt, a speech pathologist, says they use botox and other weird stuff for treatment. So he gets his voice back and manages to get rid of those pesky wrinkles.), I am alarmed by some revelations in that speech. For example, women are Satan's agents. To quote the cleric quoting Satan, 'you're my messenger to achieve my needs.' This is frightening. This implies that all women, with the possible exception of Ashwini Nachiappa, are in possession of a pair of finely crafted horns(and will turn into goats at the first available opportunity) and will use this when necessary.

In another part of the speech, the guy, now thoroughly stoned, says(of course, quoting an 'ancient scholar') "If the woman is in her boudoir, in her house and if she's wearing the veil and if she shows modesty, disasters don't happen."

Now is he specifying anywhere that she has to wear something other than a veil? Because that's a wonderful picture he's conjuring up. I suppose we'll have to assume he is, since he's quoting an ancient scholar(by the way, isn't this ancient scholar business very convenient? Say something and then blame it on some idiot you know will never be able to sue you.). And since when did "al-Rafihi" begin using words like 'boudoir'?

In an earlier part, he says, "It is she who takes off her clothes, shortens them, flirts, puts on make-up and powder and takes to the streets, God protect us, dallying. It's she who shortens, raises and lowers."

Man, this guy ought to be a narrator for a porn movie. I'm feeling distinct sensations just reading this!

I think we ought to fix a retirement age for people in positions of some sort of authority who, fortunately or not, people listen to. They will be eligible for pension, of course. The rate for this(as a percentage of his last received monthly salary) may be fixed in proportion to, say, off the cuff, the number of ancient scholars he knows. For example, if he quotes one ancient scholar of his community and enrages a whole lot of people from another community, and those fellows launch strong protests, we may give him 5%. If he then decides to quote another ancient scholar from his community, and this further enrages the other community, and those silly idiots kill each other in protest, instead of him, we may give him a further 5%, bringing his total to 10%.

We should collect all the quotes religious leaders make. It would compile neatly into a book called, maybe:- "1001 religious insults: from Maoist to Muslim, Hindu to Hebrew, insult everybody and every thing! Great for every occasion."

It would be filled with neat, illustrated examples like:-

"Marwari women totally love Muslim men. After all, half-off."

"You married your cousin? Are you incestuous or are you just a Hindu?"

"Are you Christian?"


Am I going to hell or jail for this?

15 comments:

tharunya said...

:) Oh, you.
Delicious stuff, made my week :)

nivedita said...

Nice ya.
Read this by someone who is oppposite of a muslim conservative cleric:
Fatmammycat

[via the Dilbert blog]

Arjun Sharma said...

[Tharunya]Thank you!!!!

[Nivedita]Nice. She does make a good point, when she says women need not make themselves vulnerable. I mean, it's all fine arguing that even if a woman is walking around naked, a man has no right raping her. But what when he does? While there's no denying that he's a bastard and deserves to be castrated or worse, it wasn't exactly a smart move on the part of the woman. Post-event, arguing right vs wrong, fault vs not does seem futile.

Thanks for the link.

tharunya said...

Ooooh, that FMC makes some very good points, aimussay.

c'est moi said...

No you arent. You're just going to my darling authors' corner! This is not just hilarious, its a whole new reason to,ummm... be atheist!
Love ya!

K-Man said...

Cosidering my current slightly misogynistic bent of mind, i wouldn't like to comment.
Here's a Deal: You watch X-Men 3 and I'll meet some nice women, and then we'll reciprocate comments...

Arjun Sharma said...

[Tharunya]Yes she does.

[Suhasini]Aww, thank you! You too.

[Karthik]What kind of a deal is that?? Why don't you watch X-Men 3 again and I go and do the woman-meeting for a change, huh? Sounds fair to me!

Anonymous said...

Nange title artha ne aglilla

Sandeep

Arjun Sharma said...

Pedda. That al-Hilali eneno analogy kotta. Analogy, therefore, analogously challenged...eh, whatever, shut up, I'm watching 'Apocalypse now.'

tharunya said...

:D

Silly.
And why apologize? Brando is the man.

tharunya said...

Hmmm. "Analogically" makes more sense if that's what your point was, I think...

Harish said...

"I think we ought to fix a retirement age for people in positions of some sort of authority who, fortunately or not, people listen to." - Very very true. This holds good to all the "self-proclaimed intellectuals" in our society too.

therapy said...

jail and heaven will probably be the protocol.

therapy said...

I'll stop by more often.

Arjun Sharma said...

[Tharunya]"Analogically" seems to mean the same thing as "analogously."

And I'm not apologetic. I love 'Apocalypse now.' Watched it until two yesterday. I am very much liking it!

[Harish]Oh definitely. Those people should be given forced voluntary retirement.

[therapy]That's the logical order? I'd better fulfill my worldly responsibilities quickly, then.