Wednesday, September 27, 2006

To hell with humour

Hello. Welcome to the news.

Four men were seriously injured yesterday when they had a bit of a misunderstanding with a horse. The men reportedly noticed a swelling in the horse's stomach, a bulge which, witnesses later confirmed, had been present for well near four months now. Having no idea about women or females in any form, the men were quite flabbergasted.

"Look!" said one of the men to the other three, "See how its stomach swells." "Yes, its stomach is all swelled up," observed another astutely.

"What makes it swell so?" queried a third. "I have not the faintest idea," replied the fourth.

Thus deducing that there was, most definitely, a mysterious swell in the horse's stomach, the four men proceeded to look interestedly at said swell. This went on for a while till the horse got decidedly annoyed with what it thought was unnecessary attention being paid to it. It neighed and harrumphed mightily, rising up on its hind legs in terrible and great anger, hit its leg against a pole nearby, subsided and proceeded to sulk at the men from a safe distance.

The men, having, as has been iterated before, no idea of women or females in any form, decided, after a while, to relieve the horse of its burden, noticing that it huffed and puffed under the weight. They proceeded towards the horse which, by now, had lulled itself to a light sleep. Two of the men approached the horse's hindquarters, as vanguards, while the other two stood at the fore. Upon a signal from one of the men, the two men at the fore firmly grasped the two fore legs of the horse, while the men at the rear began searching about thereat for inroads to the swell, so they might get at the root of the problem and find a solution to it. Any resistance by the thoroughbred at the front was battled against by the two men who held firm there. The men at the rear groped about for a way in.

The horse, meanwhile, was awakened by these actions and, needless to say, greatly disturbed by these intrusions into its privacy and, more specifically, its body. Its plight and consternation may well be imagined; anybody would be greatly offended by two full-grown men groping about their hindquarters while two other full-grown men held their forelegs firmly down. It shook off the two men holding its forelegs down as it rose up. The men at the back proved to be a bit more of a bother. But they were so terrified by the horse suddenly waking up that they pulled away from it, quaking with fear. All four men now gathered next to each other and stood staring at the greatly affronted near-stallion(its mother had almost mated with a stallion. They had a fight.).

The horse now raised a mighty hoof and swung it at the men. The heavy hoof caught one heavily in the chest and flung him far away, smote a second by the side of the head, cleft a third one's jaw nigh in twaid, while the fourth...well, the fourth man suffered extensive damages. All four men are now reported to be in a stable condition and contemplating a career in travelling great distances from horses.

In other news...

15 comments:

Harish said...

chennaagide.

Malaveeka said...

howdu. channaagide.

swaroop said...

In news just coming in, a 4 year old ant has died of stomach cancer. Doctors at the Hinduja hospital say that the ant was 'Brought dead'.

In other news...

Malaveeka said...

No.... you were sucked down to alphabetising your links!

Face it, neenu eevaga pukka engineeru.

Arjun Sharma said...

[Swaroop]Noooo!!!

[Malaveeka]Eh, what's wrong with alphabetizing stuff? Order...

I'm defending myself after alphabetizing stuff? You're right, I have become some kind of weird engineer-creature.

Jayanth Madhav Barki said...

Were the four men from an engineering college?

Arjun Sharma said...

Yes, it would seem so.

"Having no idea about women or females in any form--"

Yes, most definitely.

Pushuka said...

Eminently entertaining.. btw, I have no idea how I reached your blog...which reminds me, I need to get my morning cup of coffee. Keep blogging..

Arjun Sharma said...

[Pushuka]Are you related to one Paavan Shanbhag, of Shanbhag & Shanbhag Esq., Stonybrook?

Coffee....damn it, you set me off! Now I'll have to go get some myself, at 11:30 at night!

tharunya said...

And the foal? The foal??
I demand a follow-up.

Arjun Sharma said...

We are looking into the matter.

Arjun Sharma said...

Foal found. Been through a lot. Looks like it's aged donkeys' years.

tharunya said...

Stupid inconsiderate animal-haters mutter grumble.

Pushuka said...

[Arjun]: Don't think I know Paavan personally.. but I wouldnt be surprised if I were related to him. It's my theory that if you dig sufficiently deep (read 200 years), all Konkani's are related...

Arjun Sharma said...

He he, my uncle keeps saying so too. He's one of "you people."

You know, we are all brothers and sisters-in-case-they-get-too-ugly.