Saturday, September 09, 2006

'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

"Psycho, my treat, man. Come on, man!"

JK on the phone. I was sitting beside a strikingly uncommunicative computer monitor(it joined a growing list of people to have turned down my overtures of love and affection). I asked KD to drop me off near where JK and the other guys(Blind man, AT and Saapad) were waiting.

"Purple Haze, man, psycho! Come on, man!!" yelled JK.

All right, then, let's do this, thought I. I'll confess:- I am 21 years old, I have never smoked, drunk, doped or had pre-marital sex(I can see a lot of you scoffing at the mere idea of me even talking about this. Up yours, y'all!). I am single for the primary reason that I am singularly un-attach-worthy. So, I've led a pretty much staid, gay existence till now. Mr Mohandas himself would have been proud.

That was all true till tonight. I drank. "Ayyo, thoo!! To tell this much, he is rambling soooo much-aa?" Yessu. We went in the blind man's car to Purple Haze(on Residency road, for those who didn't know. I'm not gloating, I knew it was there even before I went and drank. It's a famous place.). Unimposing man charged three hundred bucks each for entry. We meekly paid up. Two floors up. Door opens. Lights and general city bustle outside. Sudden darkness and blasting loud music inside! We made our way over to a little table(in front of which was a ridiculously small chair). There were pictures on one wall of someone who looked like a middle-aged John Bonham. People buzzing about. Large TVs plastered to the walls in the corners. Song after song playing there. The guy(whoever he was) had procured DVDs with a lot of popular songs of all genres and he was having a great time playing them one after the other. Up until 8 PM, general gay music played, with bands like U2(oh come on!) taking up a lot of airtime. Then, it began.

"In--the--end!!!"

The whole pub erupted. Word after word, line after line of the song flowed from every tongue. Swinging, shaking, dancing, headbanging in all its forms, all the people in Purple Haze sang to the lyrics by those guys from the Park. And when it came to "I had to fall to lose it all. But in the end, it doesn't even matter," there was heard some of the most impassioned singing ever. As though everyone there knew what it was like to lose it all and fall and that, in the end, it really didn't matter.

It is really wonderful to go to a pub, not get too drunk and headbang like mad to songs designed to make you go mad with rhythmic fever. Oh, as for what we drank, it was beer. Yes, that's all. I don't know if it was because of me(a virgin mary, if you'll excuse the bad joke) but the other guys, veteran imbibers of the spirits, also drank beer. A large pitcher filled with the brew was placed on the table before us. Five glasses manifested themselves. They were filled. One was placed before me. The guys were looking at me as if with anticipation. Let's see how this guy takes this one, perhaps. "Non-drinking wretch! Tonight, we have him in our fold!!" (sinister laugh follows).

I looked down. Brown(although you couldn't make that out all that well if you were as blind as the blind man) liquid lying still, comfortable with its alcoholic nature. Waiting to be drunk by some unsuspecting fool such as I. I continued looking at it.

"Oh, drink it, you idiot!"

I picked up the glass. A mug it was, I was later informed by people who were not there. Beer swished and swirled about, as though irritated at being disturbed. I took one last look at it and bid goodbye to my teetotalling existence. Then I sipped.

"WHAT THE F**K IS THIS HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE DRINK IT WHO THOUGHT OF THIS STUPID THING ARE WE ALL MAD WHY THE HELL AM I DRINKING IT?!!!!!!!!!"

Beer sucks, ok? I apologize to all fans of the beverage but it is baaaaad. It is like an old syrup gone bad. It is like drinking the blood of the yellow-faced fellow in "Sin city." It is not very alcoholic and it, I must admit, whips up your appetite for fried things like not many things can. And, to an extent, it goes well with finger chips too. I mean, you see finger chips(I don't call them 'fries.' Way too generic. Tyres are 'fries' too.) in a new light, after beer.

But beer sucks.

The next song which everyone sang to was RHCP's "By the way." After this, Hoobastank and Ozzy made guest appearances. Then the mother of headbanging songs came on. Everyone cheered, yelled, clapped, whistled, did whatever they could to show they approved.

"Load up on guns. Bring your friends..."

How we yelled at that one! That S.O.B(Cobain)'s made one of the best songs ever! And it is so freaking awesome to yell it out hoarse with hundreds of other people, all swinging wildly.

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous!! Here we are now, entertain us!!"

Indeed.

I went to pee about three or four times in two hours, when I was there. I could 'dig' why people did this. Come to pubs, I mean, not pee. It's the whole 'atmosphere,' man! No, if the volume, both of the music and of the alcohol, could be reduced, and smoking could be disallowed, a pub would be a great place to hang out in. Basically, I know you're thinking, I'd have pubs reduced to coffee-places with a lot of amazing music. But that'd be fun!

I left after two hours and three-and-a-half glasses of beer. It had been fun. The music was great, the fun we had together was amazing. Oh, we also decided to form a band there. It even has a somewhat Nazi salute. I'm supposed to be the lyricist. JK will be the drummer. Saapad(Chandru) will be the lead singer. AT will do funky, evil things with the geetars. Manjunath will try and find out where we are all standing during our concerts.

I will remember this day. September 9th, 2006. The day I lost my alcohol virginity. Here's to similar losses in other fields as well!

"Purple Haze, all around. Don't know if I'm comin' up or down. Am I happy or in misery? Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me. Purple Haze in my brain..."

13 comments:

Harish said...

"Mr Mohandas himself would have been proud." - he he, chennaagide.

nivedita said...

Vodka.

Arjun Sharma said...

[Nivedita] Next time, I'll try that out. Neat or pure or whatever it is they call it nowadays. The other thing you suggested, the margarita, is also on the agenda. Bartiya hogona yavattadru?

Nikhil said...

Kettu hogbitte, chhe.

Went to the BlogCamp, did that and got the T-shirt too.

Update on my blog.

Malaveeka said...

"three-and-a-half glasses of beer" and peed thrice in two hours?

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

must have 'low capacity' indeed!

And welcome to the de-virginised(still haven't found the opposite)side.

And yeah, vodka. 90 ml * 7.

'nuf said.

Arjun Sharma said...

[Nikhil]B***h, read your update. Hogiddallde channagittu anta heli ursu, channagi! Thu ninna!

[Malaveeka]Low capacity? What are you, a well of beer?
And yes, there were definite plans to try vodka(90 ml * 7? What kind of magic number is 630 ml??) today. Stupid work kept me in office till it was too late to go get drunk. Supposedly, it was jazz night at a pub near office. Would have been dreamy. I could have done what I do best, now with a drink in hand and seated in a pub(perfectly filmy setting, this):- listen to great songs and wish a girl was with me.

How come virgin-ge opposite innu sikkilla?

Malaveeka said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Malaveeka said...

I think 'tis better to up the capacity before a girl(ha ha!) is with ya.

Otherwise, your talks may be interrupted with frequent visitations to the bowl.

And that, I assure ya, isn't very filmy.

630 ml is the volume of the Devil.

Arjun Sharma said...

"I think 'tis better to up the capacity before a girl(ha ha!) is with ya. Otherwise, your talks may be interrupted with frequent visitations to the bowl. And that, I assure ya, isn't very filmy."

Speak ye from experience?

Arjun Sharma said...

And "girl(ha ha!)" en bantu? Kobba?

Malaveeka said...

hun, kobbe.

*nagutale*

Experience en illa pa.

Aiyyo, nan en heladu nan hane baara.

*sighs*

tharunya said...

Congratulations from one similarly newly-alcohol-devirginized. (with similar feelings on pubs and beer. only my place was pecos. must do these things in the traditional places, i say)
I think I like your blog :)

Arjun Sharma said...

Pecos? Friends keep telling me about it. How's it? Yeah, traditional places have a more 'austere atmosphere!!'

And congrats! You are now part of the Dark side too.