Thursday, August 17, 2006

Consciousness

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." ~ Author Unknown

"Sleep is perverse as human nature,
Sleep is perverse as legislature....
So people who go to bed to sleep
Must count French premiers or sheep,
And people who ought to arise from bed
Yawn and go back to sleep instead."
~ Ogden Nash, Read This Vibrant Exposé

"There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock." ~ Author Unknown

Why am I saying all this?

“Arjun, I would like to have a talk with you. PLs meet me once you are free”

These innocuous words appeared in a mail my manager addressed to me today. Somewhat disoriented, I asked my senior what it could possibly be about. She said, “No problem. She might have called to discuss with you regarding your work here.” Not expecting anything, I went to her(my manager’s, not my senior’s) place a while later. She bade me sit down and spoke about some other issues that had to be taken care of by me, including installing a tool on my machine and the immediate stopping of regression testing and/or updating the status of such tests in a central repository. That was done away with in about five minutes. Then, she looked away from the computer in front of her and turned to me.

“Arjun,” said she, “what I really wanted to talk to you about is a rather sensitive issue.”

“OK, this is it, this is really it. Glorious freedom is finally here!” thought I, in exultation. As is known(by very bad individuals) to be my wont, I exulted too early.

“I noticed you were sleeping in yesterday’s presentation…”
“Oh, that? Yeah, I kind of…yeah, I was nodding off a bit.”
“Yes, well, is there a problem? I mean, do you have any serious issues as such?”
“No, nothing, I don’t—“
“Because I’ve noticed you sleep in department meetings too.”
“What? No.”
“Eh, come on, the team’s been noticing it.”

“So this is what the team notices?” I thought, but wisely said nothing.

“No,” I said, “yesterday was an exception. I’d been in another presentation before that one you mentioned. And it was after lunch too. So..”
“OK. But it doesn’t look too good, you know,” she said. “I mean, in front of the whole group…I’m sure if we ask someone from another team or department also, they’ll tell they’d noticed that!!”
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that.”
“No, seriously, tell me. You can talk to me frankly. Do you stay up late at night everyday?”
“Me? Not as such.”
“Are you planning on going for higher studies or something? Because I can plan for that, you know. I will have to think of substitutes. You know, alternate ways for you to get in with the work and for the department to be more productive.”
“Oh.”
“You can speak up. No problems.”
“No, yesterday was an exceptionally tiring and sleepy day, that’s all. I promise, it won’t happen again.”

I was then told they had been observing this since the very first meeting I had attended. I wanted to apologize for all those meetings, but I didn’t.

“It doesn’t look good within the team also, right? I mean, everyone else is concentrating and you are nodding off…not very nice.”
“Yes, I realize that. I’m really sorry.”

My mentor had been more blunt, earlier on.

“Arjun, you sleep a lot.”
“I do?”
“Yes, yesterday, in that presentation. And I’ve been seeing you in department meetings also.”
“I wasn’t asleep the whole length of the presentation. Just during the HLR part. I was awake during the IMS(IP Multimedia Subsystem) part of it.”
“You should stay awake during the whole thing! You should get used to meetings.”
“OK.”
“Yes.”

What have I got myself into? O glorious age when men could sleep when they would! Where art thou?!

This bozo has something else to say, however:-

"Sleep is the most moronic fraternity in the world, with the heaviest dues and the crudest rituals." ~ Vladimir Nabokov

Crazy twit.

11 comments:

Harish said...

Here goes a really bad remix,

nidde maaduvudu sahajada dharma
nidde barisuvudu office-meeting-gaLA dharma
nidde barisi, nidde maaDuta, nidrisuvudu atishayada dharma
nidde maaDuva varavemage kodu mankutimma.

Anonymous said...

Is you manager reading this?

Anonymous said...

Sandeep

Arjun Sharma said...

[Harish]Not bad. It's a nice remix.

[Sandeep]Maybe she is. Who knows? I'm banking on freedom of speech and expression to bail me out of trouble, if any.

Malaveeka said...

Aiyyo!

ade problem nandu noo.

but I have mastered the Art of looking thoughtful while la-laing in la-la land.

Avinash V.G said...

At last u'r rewarded for for ur famous sleep which none of we ppl can master !!!

Bahala visheshathe ide nimma aa gunadalli .

Thavu prachandaru .

Sari saati yaruninage . Bahu parak bahu parak .

Arjun Sharma said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nivedita said...

Dooce got fired because she wrote about her collegues. You be careful. You have children to feed.

nivedita said...

colleagues*

Arjun Sharma said...

[Malaveeka]You must be a great artist.

[Avinash]Eh, neen kooda en kammi illa, sumniru. Neenu bhari kiladi idiya.

[Nivedita]What children? No kids, nothing, ya. My family calls me barren.
And Dooce is pretty. Thank you for that link.
I will be careful, ok. But never afraid to tell harmless stories!

Malaveeka said...

*Twists mustache with pride*

I am...