Friday, May 12, 2006

Saala main to sahib ban gaya...

Goodbye. Our juniors and our college finally(and firmly) bid us farewell today. A little gathering of people gathered(what else?) in the Multi-Purpose Hall(MPH) of our college in the afternoon. Hot, it was, in the afternoon!! We came to know of the farewell only yesterday, in the evening or so. And there were general instructions to the effect that the dress-code for the event was to be formal. Our guys(gang, if you will) agreed upon (bad) suits as the chosen attire. I, predictably, totally forgot about everything as I went to sleep yesterday. So, I get up this morning thinking I had to go to Siemens(for our project-and-all) when it hit me:- I didn't have an effing suit!!

Holy Hell(if you'll forgive the bad oxymoron), Batman, we need a suit!! A frantic search of the house only brought to light the fact that complex eco-systems had evolved in many of our almirahs and cupboards. Some of these were quite clever, in fact. You know, one of these contained....suit, suit, you don't have a suit!!! So, I had to go to my saviour in all sartorial emergencies:- my grandfather. Yes, he has clothes for every occasion. He has to. He's covered every occasion since 1926. Birth, upayanayanam, anniversaries of every nature, marriage, death...he has seen them all. And he, thus, has clothes for every occasion. Impeccably preserved. I'd borrowed something from him for our Ethnic Day too. He's cool!

I borrowed a suit he had and put it on. I looked like a cross between Mr. Bean and Sherlock Holmes(desi). Saala, main to sahib ban gaya!! It looked very much like a tweed jacket, with intricate near-Victorian designs on it. The good tailors:- Hindustan tailoring house, Thyagaraja road, Mysore-4. I knew I would be laughed at, but I braved all that and went to college. Before this, a bunch of us(our 'gang') met at a friend's place. The strikingly homosexual(I do not use this as a pejorative) activity of (voluntarily) posing for photographs was pursued with vim and vigour. I was saddened.

To college, then. Lunch right away. I support this move. Whatever occasion/gathering/function it is, a healthy meal at the outset can be a wonderful mood-setter. And O my brothers and only true friends, we ate! Not too much, but enough to keep us in good spirits. And then began the surprisingly lengthy process of bidding us adieu. First off, our HOD spoke. She talked of how there were about 15 to 20 'groups' in our department(this put me in mind of silly, '50s Hollywood musicals with the 'Jets' and the 'Sharks') but how we were united despite that. She also informed our juniors we were the last batch to have fun bunking classes at will. The Establishment would get stricter after this. They had burnt their fingers with us. We cheered at this announcement.

Then came dances, singing and the like. I know I'm doing a great disservice to all the good people who put in hours of their time for this by saying "dances, singing and the like" and dismissing them all. I apologize. I will make special mention here. The singing + guitaring of Praveen a.k.a Wolverine, a friend of ours, came out well. He played his own song, called "Videsha." Atleast that's what it sounded like. Then, another fellow came along and strung it like hell. He played 'Nothing else matters' and what he claimed was an Iron Maiden song(I don't know their songs. I don't do iron Maiden). The speakers, at this point, launched their own form of protest and we could hear only the distortion. Sad. He was playing well. A band called 'Orchestra' (sic!) performed 'Winds of change.' (Baby Anu was one of the singers here). At this point, rowdy members of the audience kept clapping in the middle of performances. That's funny once or twice, but not all the time. We must kill these people(Or castrate them, at the very least).

Viva la salsa!!! (literally, "the sauce lives!!!") This was surely the highlight of the cultural performances. Just two people, dancing away to glory. And that girl!! O my brothers, she was gorgeousness and gorgeosity made flesh! She was like a bird of rarest spun heaven metal, like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship!! OK, I will stop being Burgess-ois, pardon the awful pun. No, seriously, she was both beautiful and hot. And those two qualities, beauty and....heat, if you will, are often mutually exclusive. Ah heart of mine, thou dost leap from my grasp, lie upon charted land and hope beyond thy bounds! Anyway, the salsa was amazing and the video will soon be released under the much-too-specific title "Beautiful girl does salsa." I have been converted to a firm fan of salsa and, if mon cherie is willing, will learn it too. As my friend said, it involves dancing in close proximity.

Thereafter came the speeches. My comrades-in-arms spoke. Some of them...most of them said the usual stuff. This college has given me everything, my friends mean more to me than my girlfriend or three sheets of paper, that teacher has GOT to reduce weight.....same old stuff. Some few made good points too. Yours truly was among the few who didn't get to say anything. But then, that's in accordance with what I would have said too. This is what:-

"Hi. Sorry for the..the jitter in my speech and walk. Raised landscapes psyche me out. Anyway, I want to apologize for my appearance today. I know I look like a Mastermind topic. 'British Prime ministers from 1860 to 1947' or something. This is my grandfather's suit. That's ok.
Anyway, I have nothing astoundingly new to add to what my friends have already said. One small thing, though. We, our gang or whatever, have always been the perennial under-achievers. The ever-underdogs. I'm slowly resigning myself to the fact that I might not amount to much. We may not be...heck, we are not the best at what we are supposed to do. We are nowhere near our friends in the IITs, the NITs. Or even the RVs. But you know what, that's ok. This college has taught me that. Yes, I know that's a wrong thing to be teaching your students if you're a college(there's an image, yes); but there you go. I've learnt that it's as, if not more, important to be a good guy than a clever guy. Or girl, however you swing. I haven't the best attendance record in the college, true. But I have learnt more by hanging out with 'da guys' at the canteen, the famed katte, the Forum, pool joints, wherever, than I would have by being extremely punctual to class. Sorry for that to our teachers(!!), but that's the truth; maybe even a truism. It is due mainly to friends that we become what we are and who we are. And, thanks to this college, we all have good friends. Wherever they might be (large-scale guffawing here).
Our teachers have been terrific, though. Very very cool people, unruffled by anything under the sun. A stranger might call this laxness; he/she would be mistaken and bodily thrown out. Our teachers are cool and we'd like them to know we think they're amazing. (applause here).
A big thank you to our juniors. They've done something fantastic here. We blew it last year. But then, 'we're much better than our seniors', right?
That's it. I've killed you softly and killed you enough. Here's to a great future. A great life. Good bye, and good luck."

Then they gave us mementos and all, my precious!! Very nicely done. "BMSCE has always been proud of you. And now, the world will know why. Batch of 2006. CSE." Aww!! Seriously, very touching. Very nice.

Then games were played, my sweet!! Strong, muscular and strangely busty men were forced to wear sarees, in a particular contest. In another, the girls blew up balloons(lewd jokes were thrown around when the inflation was happening) while the guys burst them by sitting on them. This was a game demanding razor-sharp wit and great skill. Musical chairs or whatever followed. By this time, it began raining. And how it rained!!

I'll end by quoting two of my friend's quips, which I thought were very funny:-
"So this suit is a family heirloom or something?"
"Oh, did your grandmother see you in this suit and say, 'Oh you look exactly like your grandfather in this!!' ?"


Karthik D said...

Grandson! Very Nice. The description of that beautiful girl who was also apparently hot is i would say comparable only to the girl herself.
Does she read blogs? You might get lucky then.

Harish said...

I like the way you give those links to words that really have not much significance in the context, for example, upanayana.
nodi haasya!

Malaveeka said...


so did you look like your grampa?

Finch, Scout said...

you gwadjooated.


aravinda said...

so, was it true ?

HOD, Dept of CSE said...

enu, blogs nilsibittidiri ??