Tuesday, April 11, 2006

When inanimate objects attack...

The lens for my left eye is somewhat like the elevators of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. It has suddenly decided to launch a form of existential protest. It simply refuses to enter my eye and seat itself on my eyeball without some form of struggle-to-the-death. I first launch it into a trajectory ending, without any nonsense about meandering, at my iris. Travelling through the air, my lens enjoys the ride. It looks around, takes in the scenery. Here a book, there an old CD. Here a lightbulb, there a dead body....yes, it enjoys the breath-taking(!!) scenery. But wait!! What is this? It encounters a hard surface blocking its progress. A big, white, round football-sort of thing. With a brown-black circle in the middle. Rather ugly to look at and not too friendly, either.

My lens isn't too pleased about this change in media and it struggles to get away. It first sticks to my index finger and stubbornly refuses to budge. But I am even more persistent. I think there's something sticky on my hand or on the lens and I use a bit more of that suspicious liquid that big companies make and supply you with and call 'multi-purpose solution.' The lens floats. I am happy. The launch pattern is repeated.

To no avail. This time around, the sneaky little optical diaphragm adopts a different method. It simple bends over backwards on my index finger. I'm serious. I hold it in a cup-shape on my finger and it flattens itself against my finger in the other direction. As though bracing itself against a terrible and powerful wind. Now, I'm not too pleased with this arrangement and I try again. Set in correct position, add solution, rub-a-dub-dub, launch. Result:- same.

"Son of a--what the hell is wrong with you?!!" I exclaim, in desperation, for I have things to do, a life of my own to lead. I don't want to spend it arguing with a lens. I want to spend it arguing with a girl. Anyway, this lens, this stupid lens, it is now ready for battle. And, with scant care that it is my eye, I ready myself for a vicious assault, too.

I plunge the lens into my left eye, with all the force I can muster and inject into my index finger. The lens, with no recourse other than to play along with the machinations of my finger, moves along, unpleasantly surprised by this sudden, unplanned(by it) sojourn. Finger meets eye and--HOLY MOTHER-FU--hey, it's in.

It's in!!!!

My lens has entered my eye!! And I can see!!

The right one presents no problem. It is the left which is a bother. Some would say the left posing a bother is remarkably similar to India's political situation at the moment. These are requested to get their orientations checked once again, for reading such things into simple things.

Movies I've watched over the past day or two:- "L'Avventura" (shudder, shiver, shake!), "The killing fields" (amazing!), "Gitanjali" (for about the fifteenth time. A cliched Telugu love story, yet there's something captivating about it. Mani Ratnam does something like Fellini. Note, the heroine from that movie, the lead actress, is now a professor of theology at the University of Tomorrow, a project of the Aurobindo ashram at Pondicherry. Very impressed and in awe, I am.) and "Singaravelan" (hilarious!! Kamal Haasan --> only you possible!!).


Anonymous said...

I empathize.


Arjun Sharma said...

Thank you. And I, with you.