Saturday, April 08, 2006

PMS and the urban Indian

Yes, I'm pissed, very(See? I've even taken to imitating Pickwick here). At a lot of things. As we all are. Particularly at people who speak disjointedly. Without constructing syntactically correct, semantically.....ok.

I went to college today and a 'scandal' erupts. Apparently, somebody's gone and given some letter to the principal about how irregularly classes are being held in our department. So, that bald man comes ambling along this morning, before I went there, and 'inspects' our class. Finding only about ten people in class, he goes and gives our HOD an earful. She, being a nice lady, gets upset and asks all of us to meet her. We did. She said, "What the hell is this?" and showed us a letter. We'd merely heard of its contents before this, as we entered college. Now we were actually looking at the hallowed document. The gist of it was:-

Respected(???) Sir,

We, the students of the Computer Science department(8th semester), are facing a lot of difficulty due to irregularity in the occurrence of classes of Network management(Elective 1) and Data mining(Elective 2). It will be very tough for us to study and understand the subject(sic) if classes are not held regularly. We request you to kindly look into the matter.

Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
Students.

In response, the principal swings into action, as fast as his rotund frame will allow him. He orders classes to be held with irritating regularity. He asks, with galling nerve, for the "notes of the student with the maximum attendance," so that he can check how many classes have been held and what's been covered. He also asks for 'regular updates' about the course material.

Now...come on!!! We're in the final year of engineering, for God's sake(or, as my friend, JK, would say, "for Shiva's sake!!")!! Who among us would be daft enough to actually be bothered that classes weren't being held? And who keeps notes??? It's a bloody unsigned letter!! What century does the Clemenzaic(ref:- this) man live in? Do normal thoughts like this not pass through his cranium? Did it not occur to him, for one moment, that this was obviously a faked letter, submitted by someone who was not a student? An UnStudent, in Newspeak?

One of my friends suggested the letter was the handiwork of another of our lecturers, who we called "Logic flows," on account of certain comments of his, three years ago. Why? Because he had apparently been eyeing the HOD's chair for quite some time now. Yes, these petty things happen even in 2006. Live with it. WE have to.

Then, I come back home and I'm yearning to go out and get some fresh air and, boom! I HAVE to stay home, since there's no one else at home and I'm not supposed to leave my sister alone at home. I mean, yes, younger sister, 'have you no heart?' and all that, fine. But come on!! (To this, I'm sure someone would say, "Aw, ya! Why, ya?" in that weird tone. Come on, you know it's you I'm talking about.)

All in all, I'm pissed. If I were a woman, I'd be out in the streets with a gun in hand. If I shot anybody, I'd be blaming it on my body and vastly-unknown-to-the-male-populace physiological cycles right now. You don't want to mess with either a woman in PMS or an elephant, both with a gun in hand.

1 comment:

Finch, Scout said...

how would an elephant hold a gun in its hand?

oh wait.
elephant is equal to other animals, only a little more equal?

tough ide.
extra appendage ella geechakbittidya.