Monday, April 24, 2006


Siemens("Siemens is the king of the telecommunications world" "We are the COM in telecom") celebrated twelve years of existence in our fair city today. To celebrate this momentous event, a special function was organized at some location(Sheesh Mahal...who named this place? An architectural critic in a disapproving mood?) on the Palace grounds today. We, mere project trainees, were also deemed worthy of invitation and, bowing to the same, made our way to the venue. The most important event of the day, apart from COM turning twelve, was the taking-charge by Herr Johann Haslinger from Herr Grenzhauser, the hitherto head of COM. After they were lauded and made to wear Mysore petas, which made them look a bit silly(when they were making all those solemn speeches), several cultural programmes were staged. Attractive women danced to occasionally good songs. Then came a skit with an undercurrent of apologetic 'humour.'

This skit was supposed to be in the milieu of college mad-ads, made popular by the justly famous teams of BMSCE et al. However, it came nowhere near matching the tremendous humour of those legendary teams("Gumpalli Govinda" , "171 BMS XPress" etc) and barely chugged on, relying primarily on the song-and-dance routines to sustain audience interest. After a while, everyone started evincing more interest in the movement of air outside and the skit quickly wound up. The singing and dancing were good, though.

By now, we were tired and, consequently, bored out of our gourds. The food was there, waiting to be eaten, savoured. But no one else was eating and it would be know, if we started eating it first. After all, we were mere trainees. Yes, hierarchy was an issue with us then. Proper Siemens employees must start first. Then, we would take over. This didn't happen till about 8:30 PM. The first of the employees trickled out of the hall and towards the place where they were serving the food(this was outside the hall, in a huge, open field). Two or three of them picked up plates and formed a queue, for it was a buffet affair. This was signal enough for us and we attacked!! There were five of us and we zoomed towards this young queue. Three of took the left flank and the other two flanked the queue from the right. The queue had no real chance; it had to accommodate us. We stood, begging for food, almost. And we ate, O my brothers and sisters and only true friends! Your humble narrator ate almost as much as his body weight. Fair sickened by all this food we became; so much did we eat. We are now all duly ashamed by that act of unabashed gourmandizing and our subsequent corpulence.

And then flowed the liqueurs!! Oh how they flowed!! Frothing out of their bottles, pouring out from their containers, fizzing into glasses and mouths, they were....actually, 'they' is an exaggeration; 'it' is more appropriate, since there was just beer on offer. And 'Royal Challenge' beer at that. Three of us drank it and pronounced it bad. The other two(which included me) refrained. Obdurate in my stance of not drinking anything that smelt bad, I once again said 'No' to free alcohol. This was, I think, the third time I did that. I asked my friend if this stupid refusal of drinking beer because it smelt like the faeces of the Madagascar aye-aye(not that I've smelt that) was the reason I was still single and she said yes. That and the fact that I don't wax my legs. Apparently, it makes your skin feel good. Anyway...a suggestion forthcoming from her was that I should try margaritas instead. The alert reader might have observed I have already mentioned there was only beer on offer. I conveyed this information back and was advised to stay sober. The smell of faeces of the Madagascar aye-aye came strongly from the three fellows who were consuming the beer inspite of it being allegedly bad.

Then came the worrying part for them. No, not the fact that the police might throw them in for drunken driving if they were caught. The fact that their parents might throw them out if they caught these guys. We stopped at some shop on our way where, in a display of amazing stupidity, one of my friends started smoking "to hide the beer smell"(sic). When we reminded him that the cigarette smell would haunt him for the rest of his life, since his parents would surely catch that, he replied, "Oh that's easy!! A mint[-flavoured chewing gum] and some supari." This seemed simple enough and we went our separate ways. Some to malodour-free environs, some to hostels, some others to their homes with layers of protection applied over the original beer-stench.

Siemens COM turned thirteen today. Sachin Tendulkar turned 34. Vidya Nadig turned **.

Wait, when you complete x years, you turn (x+1), right? Help me out on this one.

Had Dr Rajkumar been with us today, it would have been his birthday too. Alas, would that things had not turned out as they have!


Karthik D said...

Why didnt you guys join in for the song and dance routines?

Arjun Sharma said...

We weren't allowed to.

Would we miss it otherwise, with the pretty women and all?

Malaveeka said...

so you can dance and eat your own body weight worth? all in the same day?

Move over superman.