Sunday, April 30, 2006

A bunch of unrelated things.

One in a pillion, Porn-di-cherry and other stories

One in a pillion

Have you noticed how people ride pillion? Distinct ways, each of them has. One of my uncles(I have plenty) was sitting behind me when I dropped him off at the vintage locality of Gandhi Bazaar. He was quite all right when we were travelling freely. Whenever a vehicle approached us from the opposite side, though, he would become intensely wary. When the vehicle would pass us, he would draw his knees inward. I could actually see this even though I was looking forward and driving. I had to look. The man's knee was swiftly becoming a weapon of mass destruction, crashing into me whenever a vehicle passed close to me.
A friend of mine took particular fancy to my shoulder/shoulderblade and effortlessly reduced its size whenever I went too close to another vehicle or braked too suddenly because some idiot in front of me had stopped too suddenly(yeah, it was you. You know it was you! When we were coming back from the Landmark quiz, remember? That quiz was great, though). But she cannot hope to beat my mother at this. My mother not only crushes my shoulder bones to a small, fine powder, she also yells out my name whenever I almost hit somebody or brake too suddenly or the bike skids a bit. It is a bit embarassing to have your name yelled out loudly in public AND have no shoulder......Oh yeah? You try it, then.


I was talking to my friend, Nikhil, recently and he reminded us of a great phase of our lives. He's in NIT, Surat, now and has no TV to call his own. I was reminding him of this and sparing no effort to make him understand I felt unutterably happy I had one here that I could watch whenever I wanted. It was about 11 at night. I wandered over to said TV and turned to Zee-Studio(formerly Zee-MGM). Some meaningless scene happened and then, voila, hot woman ready to disrobe! Yes, the scene of most movies was finally here! Yes, good, good, that one goes there, that other one goes elsewhere...go on, go on, good woman!! And when the epiphanic moment is finally here....BLURRED!!!! Someone censored everything out!! What's the point going all the way till that moment, then?? It's as though full-frontal nudity is bad, but nude women with blurred anatomies can be watched safely, with the whole family. "Daddy, can I watch this movie? It's called Busty Women III." "No you can't!! Are you mad??? Get out before I slam you over your head!! And give me that disgusting thing!!" "But it has blurry women!" "Oh? In that case, sure, go ahead, watch it, by all means. I was afraid they hadn't put in the blurs and your impressionable mind would go wrong."

It's all because of kids getting increasingly precocious nowadays(hark, the old one speaks!!). My cousin, at age 13 or so, tells this joke to her mother:- What's the height of laziness? Adoption.
This is why you have all this censorship on TV and elsewhere. Stupid kids!! When we were 13 or so, it was a free country, wasn't it? Zee Cinema's "Dedh baj gaye kya?" would feature the best works of the Indian sleaze industry. Zee-Studio(formerly Zee MGM) would have a dirty picture every Saturday night at 11, followed, sometimes, by a better one at 1. Double bills were not unheard of. AXN adopted the policy of telecasting, uncut, some of the best from the oeuvre of Sharon Stone, Pamela Anderson, Linda Hamilton(not very good-looking, true) etc every Friday night at 11. What joy there was in watching "Sliver," "Barb wire" etc cannot, I suspect, be obtained now in these newly-'sensitive' versions. It's all because of kids born after 1990. Stupid little runts!

The vicarious pleasure is now gone; but the nostalgia brought on by the reminiscence made me very, very happy that day as I talked to Nikhil. We had talked about this once before, too, when we had met in Delhi. The topic never goes out of circulation. Nostalgia is always interesting.

Random stuff

I finished reading "The argumentative Indian." Sen is good and, in a sense, a true liberal. But he is too wishful in a badly divided world. His aims, aspirations and suggestions are noble and make very good sense. But they may appeal only to what a reviewer in the Times of India called the bhadralok.

I watched one Mr Akira Kurosawa's "Stray dog" ('Nora Inu' in the original Japanese). Very nice movie. Apparently, he took forty days to write the story and fifty to write the script. If anyone could come up with this in ninety days, they ought to feel very, very proud.

'Reservoir dogs' is kick-ass!! Tarantino is one amazingly talented SOB!!

"They also wait who stand and serve" -- John Milton redux.


Karthik D said...

Nodi, WE had that conversation about the "Blurr". And yes it is very sad, because of the absense of any sort what you call it the Logic.

Karthik D said...

Also, I had thought of coming up with a post on that topic(Porn-di-Cherry). Nodi, You took advantage of my laziness.

Arjun Sharma said...

Yes please!! You were the one who mentioned "the Blur" from Zee-Studio. I went and checked it out. I did NOT like it!!

Yes you're lazy.

aravinda said...

bahala sogasagi barithya kanayya...
yesterday..29th april.. i see this movie.. holy smoke.. wonderfull agithu... and if it were to be those good old days.. i would have enjoyed it even more...

Finch, Scout said...

my mother practices braking with my shoulder, nagging, and abusing at random people, even when they brake 10 feet away, when she's my pillion.

man, some women are multitaskers!

pondi pikchaars ella noding. nice nice.

chutki said...

Busty Women III! Hehe. This man has a knack for concocting hilarious captions :)

Sandeep said...

Maga, nanu-neenu kooda Sliver, Wild Orchids etc. bagge matadidvi. Adu yak maga mention madilla. Yaak nanna jnapaskotilla?

Arjun Sharma said...

[Finch] Ya, ya, maajar pondy watching those days. Fun, it was! I miss eet!!

[Chutki] Thank you, thank you. *bows*

[Sandeep] Ma'a!! Aagalla, ma'a!! Haagella maatadbeda, ma'a!! You only first-u!!

Y'all, listen up!! Sandeep and I had talked about Sliver, Wild orchids, Save me and other softcore movies.


Malaveeka said...


But the blurring is better that cutting out chunks of movies. Then you don't even know what happened. Like e.g. Eyes Wide shut... It was so censored that it was almost like watching the beginning credits...snip snip.. and then The End.

Nikhil said...

Sahara Pranaam!

And it was the night before my ISA exam, Internet Security and Application.
Isn't it time we had another such discussion on how the world kept up the pace with technology.

Hush, Deci-babas are around!!:)

P.S. This is because you mentioned Pondicherry.I start work there from the 23rd.